


Enlighten Me

by Idk_hi_iguess



Category: The Sinclair's Mysteries - Katherine Woodfine
Genre: (or is it), Comfort, Crying, Edwardian Period, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent, Unrequited Love, Useless Lesbians, far too lavish descriptions of clothing and rooms, i guess kind of, its very sweet, love these girls, this is entirely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:22:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27496393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idk_hi_iguess/pseuds/Idk_hi_iguess
Summary: Sophie agreed (maybe unadvisedly) to going with Lil and Jack to their visit to their mother. Its only a week. Only a week of intoxicating closeness to the woman she was falling fast in love with. It would be fine. It had to be.
Relationships: Sophie Taylor/Lilian Rose





	Enlighten Me

Lil had left London early with Jack, to see their family. Sophie would be joining them two days after their arrival, once Sophie had found some respectable dinner clothes. All her old clothes from before Sinclair’s hardly fit her now, and would not fit Lady Rose’s thoughts on what a respectable young woman was to wear. They were all more befitting a young teenager, not someone of Sophie’s age. She was to borrow riding outfits from Lil and had her own day clothes.

It was now the day she was due to leave, and she sat on the train. Yesterday she had visited Sinclair’s dress department and picked herself out a marvelous rich purple velvet and satin gown with a white lace detail. She hoped that the richness of the colour would not be too overstated, but reasoned that she had her duck egg blue and ivory lace gown to fall back on if she arrived and felt she would not fit in. Sitting on the train as the countryside passed by and the carriage rattled underneath her, she had to confess she felt nervous. Meeting Lil’s parents, seeing her house and bedroom, all felt very personal, and was a level of confidence she could never hope to reciprocate. And a week, around no one but Lil, and her family, was a terrifying idea. How would she last so long, intoxicatingly close to the woman she was slowly falling deeply, profoundly, in love with. And the chance the feeling was mutual was naught, Lil had always flirted with Joe, looked at him as if he was the man who hung the moon. 

She had been attempting to keep Lil at the same distance as their other friends, declining her offer to move in, and trying not to stay late at the office when it would just be her. Sophie could admit this had maybe been a stupid move but she could not hope to stay sane if she did not. Her small hand case contained her two journals, one where she detailed all of these things and another for case planning and recording. She also packed her pen. It had been a gift from Lil at her last birthday, and was black with gold embellishments. 

The day had been a pleasant one, they had taken the train down to Lyme Regis and spent a few hours at the seaside. Nearly the entire detective agency had come and they had found a secluded cove where they felt quite comfortable changing into their bathing suits out in the open and all running into the chilled sea. Her and Lil had stayed on to get the last train, after the others had left late afternoon, and they had spent two hours at a darling seaside tea room, eating a beautiful array of sandwiches and cakes served by a cheery old woman and her daughter. She smiled as she lay on her bed, remembering that day in early April.

She checked her watch, pulling it from a small pocket in her skirt. The train was due to arrive in the station in five minutes. The book she had been trying and failing to read sat abandoned on the seat next to her. She returned it to her hand case and readied to depart. 

The small town station was rather busy, and she searched frantically for Lil amid the crowds. When a scan of the throng came up nothing, despite Lil’s tall stature, she let the steam of people carry her to the exit. A line of cabs, and the occasional car, were parked just outside of the station, right in front of a main road. Sophie had to admit she was a little lost, only relying on Lil’s appearance to get her back to their house. But, despite her worry, her prayers were answered a moment later when a yell from across the busy road. “Sophie!” A moment later a tall figure with curly black hair crashed into her, embracing her in a tight hug. Sophie dropped her cases in shock before returning the hug, savouring the smell of her perfume and something so incredibly  _ Lil  _ that it enchanted her. “Oh I have missed you. I can’t talk properly, Mama’s on her way over to inspect you…” She paused and made a face, “But I am so incredibly glad you’re here.” She leaned down and she could feel her breath on her face. Distantly she wanted to move forward just an inch or so, and kiss her. 

“Oh Hullo Sophie!” Jack’s familiar voice made her turn and look. He was dressed far more formally than usual, the colourful patterns he often accessorized with were gone, replaced with a perfect tan monochrome pallet, save for a navy ribbon on a straw boater. “I know it’s only been a few days but it feels as if it has been a lifetime. Three days with no one but my family is more than enough to send a chap insane!” He laughed and embraced Sophie, “How are you? How’s everyone back home?” 

She pulled apart and took in the two siblings, “Sore from the train ride, and damn tired at that. But I’m just glad I didn’t have to cancel for any sneaky last minute cases. And the last time I checked everyone was alive.” 

Lil’s smile stretched across her whole face, and it was as if the june sun shone from her. “As much as I love the town, Mother gave me a right dressing down about how we mustn’t be too late for tea.” 

“Oh and god forbid we disobey  _ mother _ ,” 

“Sophie, come on, the car is over here. We can leave my idiot brother to get the bags,” Lil grabbed Sophie’s arm and the area she touched felt like an electric shock to her. 

As they walked away, Sophie heard Jack make a noise of indignation. Their car sat on the side of the road, the family chauffeur stood by its side. “Sophie, this is Mr Arthur Cairn.” Lil turned to him, “Thanks for waiting Arthur, Jack has the bags.” She didn’t wait for Arthur to open the door, pulling it open herself and offering the back seat to Sophie. 

She slid in, and Lil followed her. Her own simple black travelling suit looked washed out and scruffy next to Lil’s pale lilac dress, which matched perfectly with the string of small pearls encircling her neck. Her high cheeks, dark eyes and magnificent curls made her a striking presence on the highstreet. Although the surroundings were colourful on their own, they seemed more intense when you looked at Lil, as if it were celebrating existing in the same universe as her. 

Jack joined them in the back after helping Arthur load the boot, and forced Lil closer to Sophie. They were pressed together and Sophie felt as if her entire body was burning. This week was going to be stressful. 

~ 

They house loomed into view as they trundled along the driveway. It was a grand redbrick building, with a central building three stories high, then two wings either side that only had two floors. Off to the left was a greenhouse, peaking up about the walls that separated the main garden from the grounds of the rest of the property. Ivy climbed one side of the house, romantic tendrils curling around the brick, and some of the sash windows were open, to let the air in.

Sophie first saw Lil’s mother as she was descending the steps of her house. She looked almost exactly like an old Lil, but less soft, more angular, and her personality was reflected in the severe lines of her striped dress. Her hat was wide, shading her face, and topped with an ostrich plume that wafted in the light summer breeze. 

She was given a hand out of the car by Lil and was met at the foot of the steps by her mother. “Hello, my dear, you must be Lil’s little friend from London. I’m Charlotte, but please call me Mrs Rose.” Without waiting for a reply from Sophie, she walked back into the house.

Lil came up behind her and murmured “That’s just how she is.” She raised her voice to a normal volume, “Now, how’s about I show you your room. It has a door connecting to mine so you don’t feel so alone in the house,” 

They ascended the steps together, behind Mrs Rose and Jack. The entrance was tiled with black and white tiles, like a chess board, and various flowers in colours of green, peach and pink embellished the room. “I’ll go get Sophie settled, and I can show her where to wash for tea.” Lil stated, before motioning her up the wide staircase. Two servants followed behind them, presumably holding her bags. “Sorry it’s right at the top, but it’s out of the way, and has totally  _ sublime  _ views.”

“Oh I don’t mind. Just excited to get changed, these clothes are practically weighed down with the steam that’s settled on them!” They laughed and soon arrived at the landing where her and Lil’s rooms were situated. 

“The only things up here are a bathroom, which we will share, and a study Mother installed for Jack when they thought he was going to university, then our bedrooms. Which are connected so you can come in and see me if…” Lil trailed off, not knowing what to say, and filled the silence by jumping to open the door of Sophie’s room. “Well, anyway, here it is!”

The whole room was decorated with pale blue, the double bed surrounded by gauzy curtains and a light cotton sheet, patterned with flowers and a delicate crocheted throw. In the corner, was a white writing desk. There were several landscape paintings that adorned the walls, mostly depicting sunny days and seaside scenes. “Lil! This is marvelous! I’ll enjoy staying here,”

They moved to the side and let the servants put down the cases on the wicker basket at the foot of the bed. They left and Sophie and Lil were alone in the tall ceilinged room. “I’m glad you like it.” Lil stepped closer, and Sophie’s breath hitched. “And that door,” She gestured at a door stood between the wardrobe and desk, “Goes through to my room. It’s rather nice, but ever since I’ve moved out, mother has removed all of the newspaper cutouts of actors and replaced some of my more scandalous books with dull books about stuffy lords attempting to woo a woman half his age. And the women are always total  _ drips _ , I think mother is hoping I’ll adopt some of their sensibilities and find a rich lord to marry and have lots of babies with.” 

“Imagine you married, oh your husband would die of frustration!” 

“Imagine indeed!” She laughed, before grabbing Sophie’s hand and pulling her through the door. 

Lil’s room was very her, elaborate and brightly coloured. She had embroidered pillows thrown everywhere, and an illustrated wallpaper, in the style of the arts and crafts artists Jack never seemed to shut up about It had mostly the same dark wooden floor s in her room, but it was broken up by a myriad of detailed rugs that made the entire room feel like a cosy tea room. 

“Oh Lil, this is simply beautiful.” She spotted the book cases, “ And green bookcases! How fabulous, they go so well with the rest of the room.”

Lil laughed and pointed to a landscape painting that seemed rather out of place in the rest of the room, “That was where I have my newspaper cuttings. I rather imagine Mother didn’t think I would notice if she swapped it!” 

There was a moment of silence, before Lil hugged her. It was random, but the first proper hug they’d exchanged since Lil had left a few days previously. They melted into each other. “I’ve missed you. Mother has been driving me up the wall.” Her voice was rather muffled but it still made Sophie chuckle. 

She pressed her nose into Lil’s neck, breathing in her familiar scent. “I’ve missed you too. The office is nearly dull without you.”

“I suppose we ought to stop this and we should wash for tea.” 

“One more minute.” 

~

Lil helped her out of her travelling suit, the fabric nearly stiff with coal dust. “Really Sophie, you’d think you had waded through a mine to get here! I’ll have this washed before we leave.”

She sat on the small rickety chair, just in her undergarments. For that afternoon they’d decided a crisp white blouse with a dark navy skirt, in a light material, would suit the weather well. Lil finished off the buttons at the back of the lacy blouse and placed a casual kiss on the back of her neck. She suppressed a shiver. What was Lil doing to her? She could feel the heat rising in her face as Lil stepped aside and turned her round. “Oh, Sophie you look really rather stunning! Quite the beautiful young woman,” She winked, “Come on then, tea time on the lawn. Excellent weather for it, wouldn’t you say?” Lil linked their arms as they walked down the stairways, meeting Jack as he exited his room, having cleaned up and shed the jacket. 

Sophie could still feel the back of her neck tingling as she begged her face to calm down before they sat down for tea. 

“My, my, you ladies look lovely. Ready to try and charm our mother, Soph?”

“I’m not sure. I didn’t get the impression she was particularly impressed by me earlier.” With everything else going on, she hadn’t found the time to agonize over it, but now she considered it, she was nervous to see Mrs Rose again.

“She is not easily impressed, and is like that with almost everyone. I think the only people she doesn’t make call her Mrs Rose are the people she is actually related to. It is not a personal affront to you, and hopefully you can bear her borderline rudeness for a few days.” Jack explained and Lil gave her a sympathetic look. 

They reached the ground floor, and a maid dressed in a slightly frilly apron met them. “Miss rose, Mrs Rose is waiting on the lawn for you to join her, with Mrs Swancott,” 

“Oh thanks, Anna,” Lil nodded at her and led them out the large glass back door and down the red brick steps. She let go of Sophie’s arm and despite the warmth of the day, Sophie felt her loss like the absence of a scarf in winter. 

~

The warm day had given way to a cold night, with the windows that were closed much too late letting in a chill. She burrowed deeper under her covers, shivering slightly. The day had been enjoyable, if a little stressful. Despite spending two mealtimes with her, Sophie had hardly said two words for Mrs Rose, who dominated every conversation. But once dinner had finished, Lil had excused them both on the pretense that she must be tired from her journey, and they’d retreated upstairs. Lil’s little library contained a variety of works, including a vast collection of poetry. She had never pegged Lil down for one to enjoy poetry, and in London she never mentioned it. But sat in pride of place on her bookshelves was an old edition of William Blake, and to it’s right was a translation of the iliad, “Who should busy themselves learning ancient greek when the story is very much intact in English” Lil had scoffed. Sophie had never learned the Iliad, or Greek, but she had a feeling Lil was wrong about that. On the shelf below, a set of handsome editions of Shakespeare, and then a set of children’s stories. 

The thought of Lil staying up all night and reading the books by the light of a candle after her mother ordered her to bed, or perhaps lying on the grass in a meadow in the height of summer, her shoes and stockings removed, put a smile on Sophie’s face that she shared with the dark. For tea they had had the usual, a fleet of dainty sandwiches, egg and cress, cucumber, tuna, and then a slice of victoria sponge each. The cake had been quite fantastic and had complimented her cup of earl grey nicely. The walk through the garden that followed was lovely, her and Lil lagging behind the group and Sophie exclaiming at all the beautiful flowers. The Rose’s lived on the other side of the country to where she had lived with Papa and so she was able to see entirely new wildlife, perfectly trimmed hedges and clean cut borders that housed a rainbow of flowers, all tumbling over each other in their quest for the sun. 

She turned onto her back and sighed contentedly. It really had been a nice day. Despite the stressful start, and the grimy state she arrived in, she had made it in time for tea and could just hear Lil’s breathing if she was very quiet, along with the ticking of the clocks in their rooms and on the landing. She was shivering more violently now, and had finally had enough. Getting up, and trying not to wince at the sudden cold, she knocked gently as Lil’s door. “Can I come in?” She whispered.

Lil was apparently not asleep, and a hushed “Yeah” came from beyond the door. 

She padded in. This room was slightly warmer than hers and she made her way in the dark to Lil’s bed, where her form was outlined in the moonlight peeking it’s way through the window. “It’s cold.” 

“Want to get in?” 

Wordlessly, she clambered in. Lil was like a furnace. She was somehow always warm, even on the coldest winter nights where they huddled together at one of their rooms and toasted tea cakes. She was like Sophie’s own personal hot water bottle. “Are you sure you don’t have some kind of permanent fever?” 

“Are you complaining?” 

She twisted around to glare at Lil, and their closeness was intoxicating, “No,” 

“Good. Shut up and let me hold you.” 

She grumbled, and let herself relax into Lil, still shivering a bit as she warmed up.

Lil’s breath evened and she must have gone to sleep. But with her so close, Sophie wasn’t going to get to sleep any time soon. Soon she would be back to watching Joe and Lil make eyes at each other, and one day they would doubtless get together, and get married. She could never see Lil as a mother, but maybe Joe would bring that out in her. And they would move and they would only see each other every so often. And Sophie would either find a husband to live unhappily with for years and pleasure when he got impatient, or she would be alone for her entire life, and hopefully die whilst on a case one day.

She knew she was being ridiculous. Lil would never want to leave London, leave her. But the doubt was always there and she wanted nothing more than to turn around and kiss Lil silly. The yearning nearly took her breath away and a singular tear leaked from her left eye, dripping down her temple. She took a shuddering breath to steady herself. 

“Sophie? Are you ok?” Lil shifted beside her and her chest went cold. 

“Fine,” She hoped she sounded ok, but she knew she really sounded like she had a bad head cold. 

“Don’t lie to me. Turn around.” Lil demanded, but her voice betrayed her worry and kindness. 

So this was happening. Better get it over with before she was ordered back to her room. Her watery eyes met Lil’s dark ones and in the moonlight her features were blurred.

“Sophie, what’s wrong?” The way she said “Sophie” like it was precious and needed caring for. “Tell me,” 

“I-” She started but the words stuck in her thought, and it physically hurt, as if it was pressing on her windpipe. 

“It’s ok, in your own time,” 

“Lil, I love you,” The words were out, and like song birds released from captivity. And despite her best attempts, no net or bird-catcher was going to get the birds back in their cage. 

Lil frowned at her, “That’s all?” 

“Yeah?” She paused, “I’m sorry, did you mishear me?” 

“You said you loved me,” Lil sat up properly and she followed her, and they sat cross legged facing each other. “Obviously. I love you too! I thought you knew?” 

She paused, staring at Lil as if she’d grown another head, “... _ what _ ?” 

“Yeah Sophie I love you. Were you unaware?” 

“I think you’ve misunderstood me,”

“Enlighten me.” 

“I… love you. Not just like a friend. Like the way Phyliss and Hugo love each other, like the way men and women who are married love each other. I love you so much.”

Lil moved closer, and took her hand, caressing her palm. Swiftly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, she lifted it up and placed the ghost of a kiss on her knuckles. Sophie could feel her heart beating against her chest and she stared at Lil. Her face was shadowy and searched it for any clue as to what she was thinking. “Please Lil,” she whispered, “Please don’t play with my feelings. I’ll leave in the morning if you want.”

Lil boggled at her, “Oh Sophie, you really are an idiot,” Then her mo uth was on her s and Sophie tried to strife a gasp as her burning lips pressed against her. She returned the kiss, her heart threatening to rip open her chest and sing. This could not be real. 

They pulled apart and Sophie looked at Lil, her moonlit beauty taking her breath away. Lil reached up and brushed the remaining tears that clung to Sophie’s skin, “I love you  _ so  _ much. I mourn that I did not tell you sooner, I could have spared you the pain,” She kissed her cheeks where the tears had been, the skin where she had touched tingling. Sophie still felt too shocked and emotional to move, allowing Lil's love to sink in. “It’s ok, you don’t have to do anything, I’ll take care of you,”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey thank you so much for reading! I want to write more of this, but am not sure where to go. Any comments are greatly appreciated and if you enjoy this please come say hi to me @ gentlemans-jacked on tumblr. If you have any fic requests drop me an ask there and I'll try and come up with something!


End file.
